Vogue Vision

My father has the luxury of working from home, giving new meaning to the term, “Father’s Office.” While passing by his desk one day, I noticed there were many more pairs of glasses beside his laptop than he could possibly wear at one time.

Nothing could have prepared me for his response when I asked him why he would ever need so many pairs of glasses. As it turns out, each pair of eyewear had a unique purpose, and were not, as I had suspected, intended to accompany different looks, given my father’s very blasé attitude toward style.

1. Short distance reading (e.g. books, iPad)
2. Mid distance reading (e.g. laptop, external monitor)
3. “Medium” on everything (not clear for short, mid, or far distance; but something to get by, usually for indoor generic usage)
4. Far distance (i.e. golf – definitely not for short to mid distance items)
5. Progressive (combines short, mid, and far distance; used in conference calls to see both the papers and the presentation)
6. Medium color change (to accommodate adjusting colors indoors and outdoors)
7. Medium sunglasses (for driving with map and/or a GPS)
8. Far distance sunglasses (golf or driving without a map or GPS)

Taking four eyes to a whole new level

Just when I thought it was all over, he presented me with a wish list that he was running for himself for additional vision needs.

1. Progressive sunglasses for outdoor usage (e.g. walking, reading texts)
2. Mid distance laptop only
3. Mid distance monitor only (the current mid covers both the laptop and monitor, resulting in neither to be very clear)

He even went as far as to provide his own disclaimer:

“You might be wondering why I don’t just wear ‘progressive’ all the time since it kind of provides the answer for short, mid and far. Well, the problem with progressive is that the focus area is very narrow, meaning you can only look from 11 to 1 o’clock. Anything outside of this angle requires that I turn my damn head, which is very annoying.”

I made the mistake of asking if he was joking, to which he very seriously replied,

“Now you know why I gave up LASIK. It corrects one problem only.”

Election Reflection

Now that Election Day is over, two thoughts come to mind:

1. With no more political mailers to circulate, does this mean the USPS is in an even graver state of doom?

2. What foreign country is most realistic for Romney supporters to flee to if Canada has a universal healthcare system that’s more public than Obamacare, and Mexico is the nation populated by the very people they are trying to build a fence against?

Here were my brother’s enthused feelings about his first Election Day after having recently turned 18:

Me: How does it feel knowing you helped pick our next president?
My brother: I didn’t. California would vote Obama no matter who I picked.

In preparation for [and later celebration of] Election Day this week, I was tempted to go to work with the most appropriate pair of socks I could find in my closet –


 My mom: Don’t you feel guilty wearing those socks, knowing that you’re stepping on Obama?